Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Lonely Days

I hate it when my humans are away for a long time. I know I try to play it off like they don't matter to me but they do! They have been gone for like... oh crap how would I know, I'm a cat therefore I have no real sense of time passing. I think it has been months. Or years! I see that my litterbox has been tended to and I have fresh food and water so maybe it hasn't been such a long time after all. I really miss them though. The only one who lives here in my house now is the one I call Pete. He seems to come around the most. I think the other humans have moved away. I did see the female some time ago, but she was only here for a day or two visiting. The young one hasn't been here for such a long time, I wonder if he will ever come back? I hope so and soon!! My days and nights alone in my big house are really starting to suck. I would let the mailman in if I could reach the lock. I think I will try to be extra nice when I see Pete next time, maybe then he will stay here with me and play and watch tv and stuff. He may even tell the female to come back and bring the young one with her! Thats my plan. I should rest up now and get ready for the big homecoming, yes a nap would be just the thing...ahhhh, a stretch and then...zzzz

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Humans

Whew, My human has really got a case of the ASS today. It seems as if he posted a blog about some sweet deal and got no comments. Ha, what a baby. I almost reminded him that I got a comment on my very first ever blog post, but I didn't want to make him cry. Humans are so stupid! We cats don't need much interaction. We are perfectly fine hangin by ourselves most of the time. We wouldn't think of letting each other believe we were upset about not getting a post comment! We like our humans to know that we are the kings of the castle and cannot be bothered with their foolishness. Except when we're hungry. Oh yes scratch me behind the ears and I will purr like I really enjoy it, the reality is that my ears are freaking starving. Purr Purr Luv Luv now FEED MEEEEE!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Background

My name is Samson. Samson T. Cat. I am not "here, kitty-kitty" nor am I "hey puss, puss, puss" My humans have changed my name to suit themselves and I am a little unhappy about it. Where do they get off thinking that they can call me whatever lame-brained, stupid-ass name that pops into their feeble little minds. Oh well I will humour them, at least for now.

I suppose it could have been worse. My good friend Alphonse is being called "Cookie", and another friend, Jeremiah's, humans are so stupid they call him "Fluffy". Imagine his shame, and disgust at having to live life being degraded each time he is called for dinner. Oh, the other kittens at school were vicious. He had to grow up fast and he was quick to the claws. This led to him getting into some trouble early on in his life. There were several incidents but one stands out in my memory more than any other. J's humans had just purchased a new sofa. It was nice, brown leather, a really good looking sofa. All of a sudden Jeremiah was banned from relaxing on his family's new sofa! Who did they think they were? He was as much a part of this family as they were, right? Oh the cruel tricks these humans had for him. Hiding a water bottle to squirt him lest he brushed against their fine new sofa, clapping loudly to scare him, and shouting at the top of their lungs. It proved to be more than he could take. Late one evening when his humans were out doing whatever it is that humans do, he snapped! He tore into the new sofa with a fiery rage, he never knew was inside him. Jeremiah spent the better part of an hour destroying their precious new sofa. Relieving it of all but a tiny portion of it's synthetic stuffing, right down to the coiled springs at the very heart of it! He laid back, totally spent, his burning rage extinguished by the soothing waters of revenge. Needless to say we didn't see 'ol Jeremiah for a couple weeks after that. And in my opinion, he just isn't quite the same.

My humans are a lot cooler than most I guess. They call me Denali, which I guess is the name the native people of Alaska have given to the highest mountain in North America. Some people call it Mt. McKinley. Denali, i am told translates to 'the great one'. There are worse things to be called. (Beats the crap out of 'Fluffy') McKinley, was some famous human from who knows when. There we go again, why do people think they can just come along and change names? Change names of rivers, mountains, other people, and us cats!

Hopefully this blog will shed some light on how I live my life, my thoughts and my dreams. Sure I dream, thats why my legs move when I am sleeping.
Pshht, humans!